Evening all,

I just needed to have a rant, hope you don't mind?

I posted last week that the Cimzia injections seem to be working......and I hope they still will, however, today has been an awful day. The pain level is nowhere near as bad as it was, so bonus. But I feel tired and very emotional again today after a few weeks of respite. My back pain is dragging me down and woke up with a sore and swollen hand this morning.

I was still able to go to work, but bugger I struggled.

I have received a letter from my specialist today requested by myself due to work starting proceedings. And if I didn't feel pants before, I certainly do now. Even though there was nothing wrong with what was written, the content just confirmed what I had been trying not to think about............the fact that this awful disease is what it is......if that makes sense.?????


I have had to ask my 16 yr old son to cook tea and do some other things for me tonight too. I spent 2 days resting and sleeping saturday & sunday, which was frustrating. I obviously counted my chickens before they had hatched.......silly mistake to make, won't do that again!!!!

Hope you are all well

Trace, stifling back the tears

Trace

Trace

Rant away. The problem with RA is that it is a rollercoaster and we lurch from one day to the next not knowing what is around the corner. You have every right to have a down day and be emotional.

Yes when we see in black and white how bad our health is, it really hits home. I don't know about you but I feel somewhat removed from the diagnosis. I know I have RA but I still can't accept what is happening and I keep on thinking surely I can't be as bad as they say and surely they must have got it wrong. I know in my heart of hearts that I do have RA but my defence mechanism kicks in in shielding me from unpleasant realities.

Please tell me how you managed to get a 16 year old to cook a meal. I have a darling 15 year old Daughter and when I came home from work today after a full and very tiring day she was lounging in her bed "doing revision" and I still had to run around after her. My own fault I know and I did jest to her that she was killing me.
Both my Husband and Daughter know I have RA but I think they too are trying to put it to the back of their minds and as long as Mum/Wife still carries on "normally" they do not worry.

You are talking to the right people and "getting it off your chest" is a good thing. This forum is my counsellor and I am sure I would have gone under if I had not had people to talk to and who understand what I am going through.

I hope you start to feel a little better soon. Try and get some better pain relief for that bad back as pain can drag you down.

Take care

Jackie
xx

Hi Trace

Sorry to hear you have had such an emotional day today. Things will get better ... really You are in control even though it might not feel like it at times. Don't let the RA get a grip, it's your life, your disease, you are in charge! Put it back in freight where it belongs and take your seat in first class

Try to be positive, the Cimzia is starting to work and the future is hopeful.

Take care

Lyn x

Oh Trace reading letters like that always makes me think "Oh buggar-I MUST be ill!"

Sometimes when a treatment gets going there are days when we slip back and it can start to overwhelm us but Cimzia seems as if it will be the one for you.
Don't forget that it won't reverse the damage already done, so you will get some pain but it will prevent things from getting any worse-so don't think it isn't working.

I hope you feel a bit brighter today.

Hi Trace
Sorry for your feeling so rubbish, hope things are a bit better today.. It really is a rollercoaster and each day is different, I understand what your going through I burst into tears when my blue badge came last week! Also My youngest daughter moved out last week and shes my best friend and Im left with my lovely husband and 18 year old son who do there best but well....you know!
I think I mentioned before that Im on infliximab and its not working so its good that the cimzia is helping a bit.. Keep your chin up hun and feel free to come on here for a good old rant.
Love Ceri xx

Hi Trace,
Hope this morning was a bit brighter for you. I had a rheumy appointment this morning where I was quite bluntly told that I was doing really well and I shouldn't really expect much more of an improvement, thanks mate. What did I expect? you've got RA, you're still doing too much so the reason I felt so rubbish half the time was my own fault. So how will I pay the bills then? Not their problem. Thing is nowadays I get cross rather than teary but there have been the teary times as well so I'm right there with you. I try to ignore stuff as much as possible and get on with life but seeing it in black and white or being told to your face just brings it all home again. Bit rubbish really, desperately trying to think of a joke for you but my sense of humour has failed again today! Maybe chocolate.........where did I hide those biscuits, oh no just remembered my friend left a bar of Bourneville in the cupboard last week, put the kettle on!
Sara
x

Hi Trace

So glad today has been a better day for you. We all have cruddy days and if wasn't RA it would be something else! Diet? Exercise? The time will come but just not now

Keep smiling and stay positive, things will improve Time for a brew methinks

Lyn x

Hi Trace,

Glad you are feeling a little brighter today. It`s horrible when the RA causes us to flare up emotionally, and this aspect is rarely touched on by the medics. You rant, or cry, or shout or whatever it takes to get through.I was never very good at taking one day at a time, but now I understand I must.

Take care,

Kathleen C x